Splitting my time between Hong Kong (job) and USA (home) until 2027: I’m looking for someone who will follow me to the ends of the world, literally and emotionally.

 

This profile is intense by design. I’m not here for “casual”—I’m here for my best friend/life partner, and I don’t believe in watering down to appeal to a broader audience.

 

I am clear on who I am, what I bring to a relationship, and who I am looking for. I'm looking for a very specific woman. Is it you?

 

I've been on a mission since age 25 to work hard, save hard, retire young, and go travel the world on a motorcycle. I'm a couple years away from finishing.

 

I am a frugal person. I don't spend money on impressing other people. I've meticulously arranged my finances to be able to provide a modest but reasonable life for me and my partner without either of us having to go work for money for the rest of our lives.

 

I want someone who sees the life I’ve carved out as a gift built for her.

I’m looking for my best friend: a woman who is clingy, smothering, and will unapologetically make our relationship the center of her life.

 

A woman bursting at the seams with love to give, who most other men would say is "too much".

 

Someone who has an introverted predisposition.

 

Someone looking for a partner to (not exaggeratedly) spend 23.5+ hours a day with.

 

An "us against the world" kind of relationship.

 

I have a pretty epic "life program:" I would love to take you by the hand and lead you around the world. I want a partner that isn’t merely tolerant of being the follower, but who thrives in that role. Someone who wants to jump into my truck, snuggle onto me from across the bench seat, and fully trust me to take the steering wheel and lead us somewhere beautiful—physically, emotionally, and in life.

 

Maybe you’ve been told you're "too much" or "too intense." Maybe you’ve been waiting your whole life for someone to want all that you are—needy, nurturing, obsessive, loving—and see the beauty in your overflowing cup of love.

 

Bluntly, I'm looking for someone who wants a 'tradwife' type relationship (except the ‘having kids’ part). If you identify with feminist ideals (e.g., independence, career driven, disagreeable, etc.) we won’t be a good fit.

 

My relationship is going to be the most important thing in my life. I enjoy learning about relationship psychology and about how I can be a better partner for my significant other. I find purpose in being a provider and being of service to my partner.

 

I value someone capable of admitting she is wrong. I value integrity, in fact and in appearance. I value a partner who believes that love is a choice, not a feeling. I value clearly communicated expectations and loyalty to a fault. Penelope from the Odyssey is the correct aspirational role model for unshakable loyalty in a woman. I aspire to be worthy of a partner like that.

 

We’ll spend years living on the road, sleeping in a tent, waking up to new scenery in foreign countries again and again. Seeing amazing stuff. I want a life worth writing a book about.

 

I envision an old wrinkly couple on rocking chairs reminiscing about our misadventures.

 

When not on the road, I am mostly a homebody. I enjoy a good PC gaming day, or watching YouTube+cuddling on the couch with some junk food getting fat together. (Or maybe lifting weights together?)

 

I’m going through the whole city-guy turned country-guy process on 40 acres of rural land in AZ. Learning tons of DIY. I hope for a partner that will be with me, even if it's just to hand me tools and keep me company.

 

When not traveling, I would be content to jump in a bubble with my future partner in our desert hideaway and disappear from the world. I'm not on instagram or tik tok. I dislike social media, and would prefer a partner that feels the same way. If you need validation from people outside the relationship, we probably won't be a great fit.

 

I'm a professor. I enjoy long philosophical talks and appreciate a partner that I can intellectually dance with.

 

Regarding location.. I am not 100% committed to Arizona, but I am very partial to the US. I like AZ; I spent five years there doing my PhD. I enjoy the space, scenery, freedom, and dryness. Beyond the 40 acres in AZ, I am also entertaining purchasing a second plot in New Hampshire.

 

Bedroom-wise... This part of my life is emotionally charged and essential to how I bond. I'm into ANR and feederism—rituals of closeness and care that reflect how I love: physically, fully, and often. If embodying a smothering, mothering caretaker feels like your cup of tea, I’ll be drawn to you like a moth to flame. I want to be unambiguous: I need a daily, active, and exploratory bedroom woven into our life together.

 

Just to save us both time: I'm really looking for someone who is reasonably ready to leave it all behind and follow me to the ends of the world.

 

Someone ready for her relationship to be the most important thing in her life. (If other commitments have you tied down to where you are, I won't be a good fit. I won't do long distance long term.)

 

I live a rough life. I am basically "camping" on my land until I can get all of my basic utilities sorted out. When I first showed up on my land in the middle of the Arizona desert, I had 40 acres, a tent, a truck, and a shovel. I've slowly built it up to where now I've set up solar power, a shipping container workshop, and an old 70s airstream RV trailer that I'm pouring a lot of love into. It's been an enormous adjustment going from “PhD/professor work on a keyboard in an air conditioned office" to building/welding things for myself, but I have found the process and the physical difficulty to be extremely rewarding.

 

Similarly, when I travel, I tent camp and couch surf. I've met wonderful hosts that have acted as local tour guides everywhere I go, and I've enjoyed remote scenery that few will ever see. I love traveling like this. I hope you are enough of a tough cookie for it.

 

On the note of things I hope you are...

 

Please be free of STDs/cold sores/etc.

 

Similarly, please swipe left if you have an avoidant attachment style, you're into polyamory, have ever had an OF, or are streaming/attention seeking online. (As a libertarian I believe you’re free to do what you want with your life, even things that are harmful. But I also reserve the right to keep those types at arm’s length.)

Continuing with the spirit of being as straightforward as possible: I'm somewhat disillusioned with the way people treat each other in the dating world today: I don't ghost people. If we aren't a good fit, I'm going to be an adult and tell you that. If we've had three video calls, I'm going to end communications with everyone else, and I would expect you to do the same. I am going to tell you that I did that, so at no point is "where do we stand?" going to be ambiguous. I'm not on here to be on anyone's roster, nor do I want to form a roster for myself. I want to find my best friend and disappear into the sunset.

 

I make it a point that I don't maintain friendships with women I was ever romantically interested in. I don't think it's fair to your partner to do that: I expect things to be on the up and up not just in fact but also in appearance.

I am not a perfect person. I have weaknesses and insecurities. I want a partner that I don't have to hide myself from. Someone who will actively take on the responsibility of being emotionally supportive.

 

I am looking for someone who, like me, is also very anxiously attached.

 

Anxious attachment has some endearing traits, including making the relationship an extreme priority, and being very emotionally available and supportive. AAs are typically very giving. However, AAs can be clingy, needy, possessive, jealous, maybe even controlling. AAs also have a conflict style of wanting to immediately resolve problems, even if that means exhaustively talking for hours about them. AAs dislike space and privacy inside of a relationship. They can also be bad with boundaries, and they need a lot of reassurance that the relationship is on good terms.

 

I have these traits, and I would like someone who is the same way.

 

A relationship between two deeply needy people will be codependent. I consider this a feature, not a bug.

 

Codependence means you "lose yourself" into the relationship (this is referred to as enmeshment). Where the two people are converging in beliefs, values, interests, and hobbies. Where individuality is sacrificed at the altar that gives birth to a shared identity that is better and greater than what you’ve surrendered.

 

I want you to be my ride or die. I want for when someone asks you "who are you?" For you to answer, emphatically: "I am whatever he needs me to be. His best friend. His shrink. His mom. His world adventure buddy. His cuddle machine. 'His' - that's who I am."

 

Codependence, enmeshment, etc.. All these things stereotypically carry a negative connotation, and despite that, this is what I want. I want to find a partner that is similarly enthusiastic about a relationship of searing intensity and devotion, and completely inoculated against external voices who would ascribe negative labels to that intensity.

 

I want us to meet each other’s neediness with a love that feels like a warm blanket. Where “I need you right now” gets priority treatment.

 

Where needs for reassurance are met with… Reassurance.